What's out my window

As you might have guessed (and if you haven't, catch up will you?) I'm an somewhat dapper English pseudo gentleman now living in Canada. Therefore, looking up from working like a crazy man on new PR strategies and looking out the window holds a thousand hidden little treasures to me, things I'd never see in England, new sights and sounds, and experiences totally alien to what i used to know.

I'll give you an example. Where i live, in the dark, rank heart of suburbia (kidding, it's not that bad) you get joggers. Not just one or two occasional ones, upwards of twenty or thirty hardcore all weather Lycra health nuts will whizz past me on any given day during my travels. You don't really get joggers in England, people tend to take the sight of neon Lycra as target practice. Never walk your dog in England, it's always the dog walker who finds the body, who is usually the jogger.

Most of the joggers i see are ladies. That's not to say you don't get male joggers, but maybe they don't have unisex jogging routes yet. I don't know, i subscribe to Robert M. Hutchin's idea on exercise:

"Whenever i feel like exercising, i lie down and the feeling passes."

So there you go. Jam sponge all round. Coming back to reality, many lady joggers have enormous great contraptions that appear to be dragging them about. These are called, rather curiously, chariots. Chariots are basically a massive circus big top tent on wheels, which for some reason you require if you wish to take your kids out in Calgary. It's the done thing. If you want to go out with your kids, make it look like your being dragged around by a runaway Glastonbury tent. Everyone in Calgary has kids. If you're married and you're of the fairer sex, you have two kids. That, or you're working on it. Something in the water says "PROCREATE!" to all women, but once they've squeezed two out it slams the brakes on and says "CEASE! BUY A CHARIOT AND SOME DAYGLO LEGGINGS!" and so the cycle begins. First it's yoga pants and lulu lemon gear, then its two kids and a chariot.

Another thing you quickly get used to in Canada is snow. English people out there: Canada is not a frozen wasteland full of Eskimos and polar bears. Well, Winnipeg is, but the rest is pretty civilized. During the summer, the temperature reaches untold heights of boiling loveliness, and being up in the mountains, it's dry as can be so it's never that sticky hot that makes you feel like you poured jam in your pants. But in winter... Oh the winters. Temperatures fall drastically, and with them comes snow. Not just a sugary sprinkling, a full on foot at least. Snow over here is serious business, but the attitude towards it is... somewhat unorthodox. Only really major roads and arteries get ploughed, everything else is left. If you crash, it's your own fault, dumb ass. Canadians are refreshingly laissez faire about snow, its a fact over here. The trains run, people get to work, and nowhere is shut. It's crazy. In England, a light dusting shuts the entire country. If someone where to try and invade and overthrow the English government, all they'd need do is wait for either a light dusting of snow or a bank holiday.

Anywho, out my window right now are two joggers, one with a chariot, and a lot of snow. I made that last about six hundred words. Bully for me. What's out yours?

Catch y'all later, and if you're on Twitter follow me at http://twitter.com/VCspaceman

Increase the peace. Don't yell at dogs, they might be smarter than you.