Stop, Collaborate And Listen

Here's the deal:

Any cursory sweep of Calgary's music press will reveal a thriving alternative and independent scene humming with bands full of interesting ideas, lyrical genius and musical talent. Local radio stations like the idea of not having to play Nickleback for the six hundredth time and pay them a few cents a pop for the privilege, and so the two come together in a joyous and unholy musical union born of soul crushing corporate cynicism and the famous quote from Andy Warhol that in the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.

Check me out, i want in on some of that action

Here's where you come in.

Like the busy busy bee i am, i find time between glamorous photo shoots and hanging around outside the blood bank to write down stupid rhymes that come into my head. I then send these through the magic of the Internet and it's series of tubes to my friend over in England who converts my tuneless rambling into audible sound, and he sends them back.

I would very much like you to listen.

Here are links to several of my songs. I can't embed music into this blog because it's free and therefore lacking in features, so i had to make them into videos and YouTube them instead.

Have a listen

Tell me what you think.

There's a poll on the main page of this blog asking which you like best, so give them a listen, put a tick in the box and if you like it hopefully someone else will and it'll be on a radio station near you in the near future.

Providing you live in Calgary.

And you like at least one of these songs.

Joanna

The Heart May Beat But It's Not Your Friend

No-One But Yourself To Blame

Scream

Calgary Farmers Market

Calgary farmers market is sweet. Seriously, I'd live there if i could. Aside from video games, every single one of my other interests is serviced by that place.

If you don't know this about me by now, you should: I have a serious addiction problem. I am addicted to cheese. That's not a euphemism, or slang for something else. I cannot get enough cheese. I would eat cheese until it came out of my ears if i could, and i have tried in the past (long story) 

In fact, i love food of all varieties. Calgary farmers market scores big big bonus points because it's the only place I've found so far in Calgary that has English style sausages. They're not quite there, but it's the closest you're going to get to a meaty Lincolnshire. Ever had toad in the hole? You don't know what you're missing.

Calgary farmers market represents to me the way things ought to be. All the people there work entirely for themselves, or at least directly for the person who owns whatever business they're involved with, so you can literally see where your moneys going. I like the feeling of knowing exactly where my money goes, rather than feeling like I've tossed it in a whole in the ground. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Starbucks. What is this brown crap-in-a-mug I'm drinking anyway? And why does everything have such silly pretentious names? Venti? Sounds like you sell air conditioning. Bet you like them Franz Ferdinand boys, don't you?

Sadly though, as Robert Frost said, nothing gold can stay. Calgary farmers market is going to get shuffled off somewhere else, because apparently a valued link to Alberta's rural traditions and a source of entrepreneurial income for many hard working individuals isn't viewed as a valued addition to the community, unlike the multiple condos they plan to build there instead. This, regrettably, is not a fact we can change, but for now it's still where it is, and when it moves, wherever and whenever it ends up, even if you have to pay to get in (it's free at the moment, so what the fudge are you waiting for, go make toad in the hole, idiot) I'll still be there, and i urge you to do so too.

That's all i got. You had toad in the hole yet? Not you PVC Percy, I'm talking about the food. No, i don't want to see that. Or that. Or that. Why am i even talking to you, you don't exist. Who am i talking to?

I need to go lie down.

9.8 Princes out of 10. If this were a band, it'd be Morris Day and the Time. Yeah, Jungle Love.